Wyrd Sisters : Hallowe'en Panto (nobody mention Macbeth...oh...er....well, that is. Erm)

When shall we three meet again?

That question might soon get a bit harder for the cast of Wyrd Sisters. A week from the publishing of this blog post, we go on for first night.

Now, anyone who has been vaguely following this blog will be expecting an 'eeeek', or an 'arrrggghhh' or some form of semi faux breakdown and panic. But that won't be happening. Because people, we have a show.

I love Wyrd Sisters. It was my first Pratchett book, and introduced me to the bonkers, brilliant mind of Terry Pratchett and the Discworld, where he most often plays. And it became my first play for the Canterbury Players as director. When I joined the Players in August 2010, I thought of myself as a director who dabbled in acting. I then spent three years discovering that I really love acting. But directing was always there as what I wanted to do at some point. This year has been about that, from assisting on Teechers to directing Wyrd Sisters, I've been getting back to old directing ways. I expected it to be hard work. I expected it to be rewarding. What I didn't necessarily expect was for it to be so much outright fun and enjoyment.

The main reason for that is that I haven't really directed this. Nosiree. This show has been created by the cast and crew. I've simply been an enthusiastic, supportive, occasionally constructively critical audience member, observing the show building. I really hope that you'll come and see the show and enjoy it the way I have. Let me give you some reasons why:

The Witches

Perhaps inevitably, a play called Wyrd Sisters lives or dies by the performance of the three (nominal) crones around the cauldron. And this play is alive....ALIVE...ALIIIIIVE! (That will make sense if you see the show).

I was nervous about casting Ellie as Magrat. Not because I thought she couldn't do it. Quite the reverse. Ellie is a hugely talented actress, but tends to get certain kinds of roles, and I was worried that if I cast her in this, she wouldn't get to use the range she has again. But she graciously accepted the part, and is brilliant. Her own natural dry, sardonic sense of humour is deployed to great effect, bringing the often missed wisdom of Magrat to the fore. She holds her own against the formidable presence of the other witches, giving Magrat a steel which is also often ignored (I honestly get a little bit nervous when she is holding the knife to the guard's throat) and her chemistry with the Fool is brilliant (mind you, it had better be, she is married to him). A little bit of improv from Ellie is also responsible for my favourite moment of the play.

Jill is someone I have acted with on a number of occasions now, and she is consistently excellent. She was pleased to be cast as Nanny Ogg, mainly as family members had told her that she 'is' Nanny, and I can see their point. An impeccable sense of comic timing, and the ability to quietly steal a scene from under the more serious characters, and also 'manage' Granny, makes her the ideal Nanny Ogg. Going away and creating lyrics for a short snippet of the infamous Hedgehog song on the basis of an off the cuff comment from me is also an example of some of the commitment and extra depth she brings.

Sally IS Granny Weatherwax. Actually, that's unfair. Apart from some lighting work I did on Barefoot in the Park, I hadn't worked with Sally prior to this play, but knew her socially, and she is a chaotic whirlwind of generosity, madness and fun. So she isn't Granny Weatherwax. But when the hat goes on, the voice comes out, and the stillness and anger comes out, she inhabits completely my view of the character. I will never be able to read the books starring her character again without hearing her voice, or indeed those of the other witches.

The Court of Lancre

John is a Fool. Er, John is THE Fool. He came into Wyrd Sisters with his eyes wide open, being a massive Pratchett fan, and he may feel a little ignored during this production. But actually, it is a testament to his performance. Right from the get go, John has been capering when he should, playing with the voice of the fool, adding in bits of business and suggesting reams of ideas (the daffodil head dress was all his idea). On two occasions, he was given the instruction by me to 'vamp' and this has led to short stand up routine and an out and out audience invasion. John directed me in Bouncers, so he understands all too well the pressures on a director, but also the sheer joy which can come from an actor throwing ideas in, whilst not being precious about them. He also manages, on two very specific moments to abandon light, comic performance and bring to bear dramatic, disturbing turns for his character, whilst still seeming in keeping with what has come before and after.

Jim messaged me early on in the rehearsal process with a question. "Have you seen Robert Carlyle as Rumpelstiltskin in Once Upon a Time?". At that moment, I relaxed - before I'd even started directing him as Felmet, he had already nailed the idea of what I wanted from the part. By turns menacing, feeble, mad as a box of (dried) frogs (pills), and perverse, his Felmet arrived virtually fully formed, and has simply built. I've worked with Jim on a few occasions before, and he is always good value, but I honestly think Wyrd Sisters is the best, or most flamboyant, I've seen him. He is a constantly cheery presence, and goes away between rehearsals and comes back with idea, suggestions, props and on one occasion, annotated sound effects CDs.

Stella scares me as Lady Felmet. As she should. She joined us about a year and a half ago, and has appeared in most productions since. However, I hope that the two productions she has done this year have been particularly fun. She displayed great comic timing and the ability to switch from one complete, convincing role to another in an instant in Teechers, and here, we've given her the chance to play the out and out villain. She's dominant, threatening, sarcastic, sadistic and powerful. I must remind myself never to cross her...

Scene Stealers

Wyrd Sisters has a cast of around 17 (I can never remember the exact number), and over 25 speaking roles. But there are no duff roles, and some great performances.

Peter, Jo and Adam form the world's oddest triple act as the key part of Vitoller's players. Peter's TomJon, we all freely admit, is not massively like the character in the books. There are a lot of allusions in Wyrd Sisters to TomJon getting into a lot of trouble when left on his own - and yet his character strictly as written seems not to back that up. Peter's mannered, fun take on the character reintroduces that, without losing the idea that TomJon is the best actor on the Disc. Jo as Hwel is sublime. A flippant line in my audition notes led to her auditioning the part in a Brummie accent, and when I said she didn't have to carry on with it, her response of "Do you mind if I give it a go?" laid the foundations for a great performance, with a dry sense of humour, the most terrifying beard ever, and a little touch of the Cheery Littlebottoms. Adam's Vitoller fulfills my original brief that it should be Brian Blessed meets Ian McKellen to the full, and is an actor manager of the old school. The rumours that he is the man behind the Death mask are yet to be substantiated. I maintain that Death HIMSELF has deigned to make an appearance, and small performance....whether I asked him to or not.

Sinead waltzes off with the scenes she is in. As the obsequious chamberlain, she brings a very Pratchettian leavening to a scene which starts as pure Shakespeare melodrama, and as member of Vitoller's players, her comic reactions, attempts to 'be' Death, and imitation of Stella's Lady Felmet  all enrich the scenes she is in. But is is her turn at the sarcastic demon the witches call on for help where she leaves me giggling uncontrollably every time. I wonder how many people will spot the Family Guy reference in that scene.

Richard's deceased Verence is a difficult part. By turns petulant, regal, invisible to almost all the characters and lumbered with a couple of key speeches which act as plot exposition, the character in the play version is primarily a plot device. Richard is making him funny, entertaining and believable.

Becky, Kasia, Dan, Lucy, Lisa, Tessa and Alanna have some of the toughest roles in the play. As various actors, robbers, guards, peasants, they have more often than not been given a few sharp, pithy lines, and a geneal guiding comment from me to improvise around a theme, and they have taken it, and run with it. They all have a moment to shine, and also have come together as a team of performers.

Behind the Scenes

Plays like this, especially big, slightly lavish productions, tend to rely on both those in front of, and behind the scenes, working together. And the team here is excellent.

Derek designs and builds pretty much all of the sets we do with the players. He and I had a lot of exchanges early on, and some wacky, creative and brilliant idea were discussed.Once we had agreed a design, Derek trotted off and has been busily building. I popped down to the Warehouse where set items and props are stored last weekend, and even by his own standards, Derek has surpassed himself. His stage will create the atmosphere and setting before a single light is plotted or line delivered.

Sally, Nick, Becky and Sarah, along with the cast, have pulled together the key issues of props, costumes and planning for backstage management with aplomb. In particular, Sally and Nick, who are both newcomers to the players, have been a god send,co-ordinating the props and the stage management planning with aplomb. Becky's calm, thorough approach and Sarah's moral support and knowledgeable advice have made this easy for this non detail focused director. Alanna also has taken my vague requirement for a small dance number and made it a real high point of the show.

We have more crew coming in for the final week. Robbie and Jean-Paul will come in to do sound and lights. And Claire as DSM will essentially, along with Nick as stage manager, take the show off myself and Becky. Claire has been a key player behind the scenes from the start, acting along with Becky as someone for me to bounce ideas off, contributing ideas and a source of calm and reason. I honestly couldn't hand over to a DSM I trust more to make the show work.

And through it all, has been Becky, probably better known to lot of readers on this forum as Miscriant. She and I have 'double acted' two of the three Canterbury Players productions this calendar year - her directing with my largely technical assistance for Teechers, and now a reverse of directing roles for Wyrd Sisters. She even effected to be happy taking on a smaller role in the play than perhaps she wanted because I wanted her to help me direct. She has been a godsend, working away behind the scenes, plugging in the gaps in my detail, helping actors with sticky bits, taking detailed notes, being willing to act as bad cop when I got overenthusiastic with my notes and became good cop, and killing a couple of recent panics dead. This is as much her show as it is mine.She's also recently been playing with photshop, and has taken the rehearsal shots which she has so kindly given me permission to use, and made them something more like what we see in our heads when watching rehearsal. A couple of examples are below, with credits for the additional art work provided below.

 Great A'Tuin -  nicolsche, http://scribblenauts.wikia.com/

Blasted Heath - Gaius Duke, http://www.conceptart.org/forums/showthread.php?t=172601

There are many other people who have done a lot here both in front of and behind the scenes. This post isn't intended as a thank you, though it includes that. What I wanted to convey was that this play, which I always hoped would make for an entertaining and diverting couple of hours of theatre, has been made, by the brilliant people involved in it, something which I think will be quite the show.

I've thoroughly involved being a long term audience member for this production. I look forward to seeing the last few performances, and whilst I will be glad of the rest, will miss it when it is gone. I hope we several will meet again very soon.

But don't take my word for it. Judge for yourself by being an audience member. Come and see the show at the Gulbenkian Theatre Wednesday 6th - Friday 8th November. Whether you are a Pratchett fan, a theatre fan, a Shakespeare fan,or just want to have fun, there is something there for you.

Sisters are doing it for themselves.....

It's entirely possible that I may have confused my cast.

But, I'm starting in the middle again. Bad habit. Following the non too subtle hint from Miscriant in her own blogpost about rehearsals, I have finally sat down to do the first of two updates on the progress of rehearsals of Wyrd Sisters, the plan wot I iz currently directoring.

There will be some people out there who have a dim and distant memory of me directing them before. What comes below will not be a surprise. But to anyone who has been directed by anyone before, including my stint as assistant director on Teechers, I suspect rehearsals for Wyrd Sister may have started a little confusing.

First, let's start from the beginning (these blog posts have more false starts than Return of the King has false endings). Rehearsals have been going well. After an initial small panic. Sadly, for a number of different reasons, several members of our cast had to drop out of the play during the first week of rehearsal. The loss of the odd cast member in a large cast amateur production is,sadly, a fact of the pass-time. But several, all at once, including at least one major character? I began to be convinced that the play might be jinxed. With the help, and calming influence, of a couple of invaluable people, and the flexibility of the cast, roles were juggled, and actually, I really love the way the cast has ended up.

We spent the first month of rehearsals 'blocking and locking' scenes. My weekends were filled with me scribbling pages in the notebook, talking to the set designer, plotting the basic physical layout of each scene, and the transitions from one scene to the other. There was also the gathering of the backstage crew, acquiring the rights, and starting the process of promoting the play. It's very easy to see the role of director as being about the prep, and it is, but you are basically on duty the whole time you aren't at work once you have taken on a play. I would never claim it is as hard as being the lead in a show - in the end, there are no lines to learn, no final, do or die performance, but it is very hard work. I knew that from my own previous experience, but it has been a pretty sharp reminder.

So, 'blocking and locking'. This is where I may have confused my cast, or at least one of the places. Blocking is essentially the first step of rehearsals, where you work through scenes one by one (rarely in order), pacing through them, working out moves, key beats, and starting to form the basis of the performance. Blocking rehearsals have virtually no props, or costume, and the cast pretty much always have a script in one hand, with regular pauses as they scribble notes in their script so as they learn the words, they also learn the moves and the key emphases on lines. Most directors (rightly) come into those scenes with an initial 'starter for ten' on how they envisage the scene being performed, whether they are directors who have every move planned, and a particular and specific vision, or whether they are ones who simply like to provide a framework. I like instead to set a scene, give a start point of the scene (which I took to referring to as 'Previously on Wyrd Sisters'), a description of where the characters are, and where they need to be by the end. I then get the actors to have a go at the scene and we build from there.

That was a bit unfair. I am the director after all...I'm supposed to give them some direction. But I do find that this produces the best outcomes in the end. By discussing themes and ideas, we can then try and create something which they enjoy performing and which tells the story, rather than creates a framework without their input and then forces them to build in a certain direction. The creative people who I am lucky to have in the cast come up with all kinds of things I would never have thought of...and I take some degree of pride in the fact that what I think are the best moments in the play have come from where the actor has just tried something that they thought of, and it worked. But it is a bit different, and high risk.

Locking is a key part of blocking rehearsals. It is all well and good blocking the scenes and making notes, but you should always finish a blocking rehearsals running the scenes with a 'performance speed' run, albeit with scripts in hand. This not only locks the scene in the mind of the performers, but it also tests that the decisions you've made whilst staggering through it work en masse.

Having run a couple of rehearsals for each scene like that, we took a 'reading week', so people can learn their lines. Well,okay, it was also so I could go to Poland for the 2013 Commander Tours, but honestly, all that did was decide when we had the week. We had a reading week on Bouncers, another high energy, script dense, funny yet serious play which John (the Fool in Wyrd Sisters) directed a small group of actors, including me, in last year, and it really worked for putting the actors into the position to run and polish performances when they came back. I wanted that to happen in Wyrd Sisters.

Once back from reading week, this is where the fun really starts. Books go down, props and costumes come out, and the play comes alive and the performances become more real.

But that, and a bit more on the brilliant people I'm working with, will come next time.....on Wyrd Sisters.....

Enjoyed the blog? Intrigued by the pictures? Just want to come and see a good, entertaining show?

Terry Pratchett's Wyrd Sisters, adapted by Stephen Briggs, is on stage at the Gulbenkian Theatre, Canterbury from 6-8 November 2013. Tickets available from The Gulbenkian

Do something every day which scares you....

I like scary things. And scary people.

It always disconcerts people when I tell them that, especially as it is usually in the context of calling them scary.

But I'm getting ahead of myself.

Hello everyone! This post is long overdue...in fact, since I last spoke with you about items such as the casting of Wyrd Sisters, I've rather dropped off the blogosphere (I will of course, set myself a harsh punishment such as lines or no pudding after dinner for using this word). Those of you who follow the more regular and well structured blog of Miscriant will be aware that it has been a busy summer for me, as I am the RV referred to and occasionally pictured in the same blog. But in truth, the busy factor was no more so for her than me, so why is this the first blog from me for a while?

Actually, as is a bit of a running theme, I had started several blogs, and not been able to get a post out of them...and then I established that a running theme was my being scared...and my unusual relationship with that word and people like it. So, at an uncommon loose end this weekend (a confluence of timing, the availability of others and a social engagement tomorrow leaves me free on a Saturday night), I've decided to combine all the fragments under one discussion of that idea rather than the events which caused me to consider it.

So, scary things and people.

Actually, on the face of it, liking the scary is not unusual. Horror movies and their success is proof of that. I suppose though, I'm not talking about fear, terror, horror, suspense, even intimidation (that word again). In point of fact, I am ambivalent or disinterested in such things. Psychological horror fascinates and draws me in, and then leaves me a genuinely unnerved person whenever on my own for a while after. I love the macabre, which feeds my Monday night occupation of playing a game where I am a vampire in modern day Canterbury, solving twisted, often occult crimes......but anyway......

Scary, for me, is a presence, the sheer size and scale of something, the utter ridiculousness of it. And I love it. Scary is a word I use to describe something which causes a shot of adrenalin, that moment of focus where the world becomes clearer, more dramatic, and, for this particular person, more real and important. I am genuinely scared of pretty much all of the people I am closest to, in  the true meaning of the word - they cause a visceral response of excitement in me, because of who they are, how they interact with the world. And it makes them brilliant, exciting, important, unusual characters, and I love them for it. Sadly, scary is often seen as a synonym for frightening or intimidating, so when I call someone that, they often seem offended, or simply reject the assessment. It isn't what I mean.

Putting aside false modesty and the pretended lack of self awareness which Brits seem to require, I have to accept that I am probably, potentially a bit scary under my own definition. I am a little odd, definitely loud, and effect a self confidence and lack of concern for the opinion of others which could be scary. Of course, I am at heart a little dull, and very conventional, along with shy...and, until recently, overmastered by a sense of low self esteem (this is currently under repair), which is apparent to those who know me well. Fortunately, people seem to find me quite nice, so once the initial flush of interest caused by my scariness fades, they forgive the ongoing lack of interesting characteristics in lieu of decent, affectionate, company.

I famously once said to a few friends that, in some ways, my life began at 30. This off the cuff remark was never true, and I want no one reading who knew me in the period before to assume I am writing off or regretting anything which came before. But, my life has been governed since by two principles:

• If in doubt, say yes; and
• Do something ever day which scares you.

And I have honestly never been happier. I have abandoned things which I adopted because I 'should'. In some ways, 2013 has been the culmination of those things, with my new approach to life bearing fruit. In the last 12 months I have done things which I have enjoyed more than many other experiences in my life. I have tried, during the drafting of this blog, to summarise this, but it always seems indulgent and self congratulatory. Suffice to say, whether it is speeches, stag dos,directing, assisting, soundtracks, training (to 80 people!!), asking direct questions, throwing away button holes, and many more, this year has been the scariest, and best, year of my rebooted life. I am lucky to have supportive, encouraging friends, and confidantes. But honestly, none of it would have happened if my mind set wasn't to get scared, and then do it anyway. Even if sometimes, and very relevantly to me at the moment, I waited a couple of years to do so.

This blog is not about advice. That would be madness....by definition, any advice I give is how not to do it. However, an observation is that people spend their life frightened. Worried what might happen. Life is short, ridiculous, and overburdened with rules which aren't actually rules. So, being frightened is understandable, if limiting.

But don't be frightened. Frightened is basically letting the world win. Be scared. And then do it anyway. The scariest things are the best.

Boo!

Casting a Wyrd shadow

Auditions are not easy. For actors or director.....

Last week was both fun and scary. I've been looking forward to the idea of directing again for some time, but doing the auditions is a scary process. What if no-one turns up? What if the people who turn up aren't, put simply, enough, in numbers or measurement of 'good'? What if I muff up the audition process so much that they don't want to take part.

As a result, I arrived at the school hall which is so generously provided to us for free for auditions and rehearsals half an hour earlier than I planned to...and fretted.

I needn't have worried.

Apart from anything else, I had support. Miscriant, who I worked with on her production of Teechers, amongst so many other things, offered to turn up early, and as well as audition, offered to help out backstage. She also offered to come along to the second night of auditions to take the photos you see below. The President of the Canterbury Players, also our set designer, turned up at the first night of auditions to offer support, and, as he admitted, to have a bit of a nose around. Our Chair, who had ended up co-directing the last performance, offered to help out in some way backstage and be there for moral support, and my fellow lighting bod, a good friend who also is an excellent actress, but never gets to act due to requirements of the job, not only offered to be part of the backstage crew, but also to come to auditions to offer support. This did wonders for my confidence.

The secret to auditions is to be fun, informative, simple and ideally, to set the tone for the play so the cast know what they are letting themselves in for. Therefore, these auditions were silly, unstructured outside of the main idea, and encouraged people to let rip - people needed to go in informed. The format for both nights was the same - some people came for both, most did one or the other.

We started with a simple warm up, throwing a stress ball borrowed from work around a circle. Everyone started off by introducing themselves and saying a fact about themselves, then throwing the ball to another person, saying the fact. We have multiple instances of people being double jointed, confessions of being an old bat, webbed feet, knitted hippos (both the knitting of and being the model for the same), and many more.

I then moved on to explain about the play, starting with the Discworld and Terry Pratchett, and finishing with a précis of the plot.

During these early parts of the audition, it is important that the director imposes a sense of order and professionalism on events, to show they know what they are doing, whilst being engaging:

It is vital that at no point you undermine all this by striking a pose like a miming Morris Dancer.....

 Ah well.

I then moved to do a bit of a piece giving me a chance to see how quickly the cast can sketch characters, by asking them just move around the room, having split them into three groups. I then shouted out what character type I wanted each group to be as they moved around the room, and told them to interact as they met each other.

The important thing from this is to see how quickly people can adopt characteristics, play different types of people and interact with each other. I was pleased on both nights to see how much people threw themselves into it. The next few shots are simply people taking instructions like "Be a witch", "Be an actor of the old school", and "Be a fool", and running with them. Sometimes this job is easy, because the people run with it....

Having given the actors a chance to get into the swing of the panto style I am inevitably going to end up directing in (they say you direct like you act if you are an actor focussed director), I got them to line up on opposite sides of the room.

The next exercise gave me a chance to see how well the guys can ad lib (sorry, improvise), form a genuine character and chemistry with another actor and be observed. In turn, each person walked across to their opposite number as whichever character they had most enjoyed being in the previous role, and spend a short time chatting in the middle before moving on. I'm glad my prospective cast had a sense of timing...I was too busy laughing to tell them when to stop and move on, but they seemed to know!!

Finally, I let people get their hand on a script, taken two short scenes and creating a performance of them. This almost inevitably starts with a hasty group casting session and read through of the script....

Pretty quickly, this moves on to starting to put some performance moves and basic blocking....

I gave the groups about 15 minutes to work on the scenes before then showing them to me an each other....this is actually about 5 mins more than is strictly needed, but there was a reason. People start getting creative with the characters, little bit of business and with their moves....

And then, they start getting creative with the props which can be cobbled together from what is in the room, whether it is something to represent a pot of gold, or a practical aid like a lectern:

...one of the school benches turned into the central prop of the scene....

....or, disturbingly, a Jessie (from Toy Story 2) doll to represent a baby!

The auditions were great fun, and on the second night, we ended up being invited to the end of term party for the staff of the school.

I have to say though, despite us attending briefly, I was distracted, already mentally moving bits of paper around to complete the casting. I had contact details, and expressions of interest in particular roles and also people offering to be backstage if they weren't cast, or even if they were.....

It wasn't easy. I decided early on that I would be able to make use of most of the people who had attended auditions or not attended but read separately - this was useful, as I was dreading phone calls or emails turning people down....that said, I would do it if I didn't feel I could use the cast member well, so it says a lot about those who attended that I wouldn't need to do much of that. But then, what roles? How to cast people normally used in leading roles in smaller roles because they would nail the essential job of pushing it forward. Take a risk on a new member, or end up typecasting existing members? What am I doing with the play in terms of tone and feel, as this would affect the casting.

I distracted myself with the 39 steps, a reunion with an old Uni house-mate and former co worker who lives in Australia and was over for a short visit, and the Wimbledon Men's Singles final.I asked one cast member to let me know which of a couple of roles they might be interested in, just to see if it would break the deadlock in my head. And in the process, my subconscious cracked it, and I cast the play. On Monday, all the cast were contacted, and most of them have confirmed they are in for the roles.

There is so much more to do - plan rehearsals, talk set design with the designer (already under way), order scripts, put together backstage crew, including sound and lights and costumes and so so much more. But if it all goes as well as this, all will be well, and very enjoyable.

That, and the ever charming Miscriant, in addition to taking on an acting role, has agreed to come on board as my assistant/co-director.

Top banana.

We're on!

I like to think I'm immune to the stuff, but I might as well face it.....

Kids,

I'm here today to tell you how I met your....erm. Hang on, I'm getting ahead of myself here.

A funny thing happened at the theatre on Friday. And I'm not talking about the show.

Although that was very funny. A brief diversion from the diversion here. A group of us, following exhortations from various sources, went to see the 39 Steps at the Marlowe Theatre on Friday.It was magnificent. 4 actors (ish) play 139 roles in a play which lasts about 2 hours, including an interval and tells a surprisingly faithful account of the original novel, peppered with laugh out loud humour, and all out assault on the 4th wall and incredible creativity and commitment. Go and see it. I loved it. And I really, really, want to do it.

Once I've got the current show out of the way that it is. Yes, to the few of you curious, the auditions went very well. I now have a cast, though they don't know it yet, so the blog about the auditions and casting will appear later.

So, apart from the show, a funny thing happened at the theatre. I fell in love. Again. For an hour and a half.

I'm wary in writing this that I might be being too emotionally honest again. I've been reliably informed that my blithe willingness to discuss my feelings, acknowledge critical failings and my inner crazy, whilst a probably great characteristic, is intimidating. I see the logic, though I do baulk at the word intimidating. It has been used to describe me more often than I am comfortable with. Made all the more laughable by the fact that a) I am generally more intimidated than intimidating, and b) I'm really the least intimidating person you are ever likely to meet.

So, to be clear, I am aware that I wasn't in love. I was besotted, swept along on the romance of a moment. I know love. I've felt it. And lost it. This isn't it. But you see, here's the thing....

My name is RV, and I'm a hopeless romantic.

And, falling in love (easier than writing falling in besot, if that's even a thing, so please excuse the contrivance) for even the briefest of periods, is part of this. I am a great believer in big gestures, narrative sweeps, the size and scale and joy of the universe. I get taken up and swept along in the moment. It damages my critical faculties, as I can forgive the sweeping influence almost anything, and see passed flaws. I have already waxed lyrical about the power an empty theatre or going to a film and show has over me. I commented after the show that every theatre show I have been to since about the age of 12 has resulted in me becoming fascinated with one of the female members of the cast, productions with friends or which I am performing in aside, and that is true.

I know what it is - it's the romance of the moment. The heightened reality of the stage, the atmosphere, the characters, the energy a person has to put into a performance, the play of the light, the fact that, simply, I am being required by everything in the theatre to pay attention to this person. And then I see them.

Okay, pause for a second here. I'm aware this could be coming off as stalker-y. Or, disparaging to whatever poor soul has the joy of being my 'other half' at the time I go to that show.... That isn't how it works at all.

For a start, it is not sexual, or real, in any way. I sometimes dismiss it as such to simplify it when talking with people, leading to a perhaps not particularly tasteful (though always amusing) line in humour which tends to include me loitering around the stage door and kidnapping them. But I hope my friends get that this isn't what it is. I suspect they would not be my friends if even for a second they thought it was this way.

No, what this is is being in love with the idea of someone. The story they are part of, the vulnerability they have to show to perform on stage and the confidence to perform. They become my 'in' to the reality of the play, my sympathetic character, and the one you want to root for.

Anyway, this led me to ponder the meaning of 'hopeless romantic'. It has become used as a term of excuse and abuse these days. People are dismissed as hopeless romantics if they have no grasp of the reality of the situation. Or, individuals rather shamefacedly describe themselves as 'hopelessly romantic' to excuse some naive or ridiculous act.

We have rather become obsessed with the 'hopeless', in hopeless romantic, and taken it out of context to mean, beyond or without hope.And we are using romantic in the sense of romanticising, or fictionalising. Certainly it indicates a lack of interaction with reality, and so it isn't a massive leap to go from 'hopeless romantic' to gormless idiot. And let's be right, my own tendency to get carried away with ideas, and 'fall in love' at the drop of a hat, would seem to back this up.

Our contradictory relationship with 'hopeless romanticism' is best summed up by this quote:

For me, this is a good thing. To love, completely, desperately, is the very essence of love. But Salinger was a bit of a cynical soul I gather, and there is an awareness to this quote. Does this make the person who loves 'desperate'?

Look, I understand the cynicism. I alternate most of the time between cynical and blindingly optimistic. A more 'realistic'attitude is a great protection against the vicious capriciousness of the universe. But I'll never give it up. Hopeless romantics to me have such a view of the universe that resonates with me, and my belief in the big and the small and despair about the medium and mediocre.

I mean, after all, one of my favourite tv characters is hopeless romantics, in both senses of the words:

See, that reference to kids and how I met at the start makes sense now, doesn't it? I actually call most people I know 'kids' because of the identification. Most American cinema is hopelessly romantic. Probably why I love it.

It is also, I hope, one of the reasons that I have remained single since my latest main relationship. I am not equipped, either in physical appearance, or temperament, to be cynical about relationships, or basic. There are undeniably times where I wish I was. And maybe I am, just not had the chance to be- my hopeless romance gets in the way.

I'm not saying that being a hopeless romantic means that you are always only looking for the one big thing. But, it does lead to you to commit more completely during any relationship - friendship, romance, family. Intimacy is easier, and craved. Sure, you can over commit, an abandon critical faculties, and the end of such relationships is harder. but it is worth it.

I started this by talking about 'falling in love', before swiftly acknowledging that I knew this was the wrong phrase. But here's the thing. For a hopeless romantic, you can be besotted, especially briefly. But when that becomes more 'real', then the 'fancying' is deeper, less basic. Don't get me wrong, you need to be attracted to the person, but attraction is a greater commitment for a hopeless romantic than for many.

If, like me, you are a socially dysfunctional hopeless romantic, the attraction may not even be obvious, or assumed to be passive, as we do not have the toolkit to convey it, or act on it.

And love? Love, for a hopeless romantic, is instantly life changing, and if lost, becomes so big. But worth the risk of that loss.

I contend that we all have it within us to be hopeless romantics. But, most of us find the person who deserves that first, and then become it about them. I suppose that's a good thing, really.

But there are a few people who are hopeless romantics in the same way as they are oxygen breathers. These silly, giddy, fools get swept away by the person the other side of the room, or on stage. They crave intimacy, and will share everything in their heart. When they find a person who they actually fall in love with, it doesn't surprise them, it feels natural, deep, and true. And whilst they can never claim not to have moments of getting besotted for half an hour, love for a hopeless romantic is something which has to be killed rather than dies.

There's honestly no point to this post. No pithy summary, no real message, just musings.

Hopeless romantics, probably fairly, are seen are silly, child-like souls, who deal with the world on too simple a level and are too emotionally open, leaving them vulnerable.

I wish there were, and hope there are, more of us.

Showing off....to an empty theatre......

Well, here we are again. While I await word of whether I am been successful in my application for my dream job, I have, as usual, been keeping myself busy. I've also promised myself that these posts will be a bit shorter, so stop me if I'm rambling.

I have spent most of this afternoon prepping for the auditions next week. THE AUDITIONS...AHHHHHH.....when I first wrote on this blog, and indeed this subject, July looked a long time ago. And here it is.

And the auditions are just the start. Once cast, I shall be spending the summer gathering a crew and backstage support, putting a rehearsal schedule together, planning a set concept to hand over to our set designer and starting to loosely plan direction in adavnce of starting rehearsals at the end of August.

I'm actually really looking forward to auditions. Now I know the scene snippets I am going to do, the warm ups I am going to run and the other excercises, I'm looking forward to it. I've had a few people regretfully advise they aren't taking part which has in some cases been disappointing, but understandable. I've also had a lot of people tell me they are coming and know of at least one person who is not a member of the Players who is coming along precisely because it is Pratchett. The play has even, indirectly, put me back in touch with someone I last saw in my first year of Uni!

Hell, I even had an enquiry from Bangkok about the possibility of a part yesterday.

In many ways, it shouldn't be a surprise that the fame of this has spread. Indeed, there has been recently been a somewhat ego boosting moment. It is a tradition that the next production is trailed in the programme for the previous show, in this case Tis Pity She's a Whore. Because I had already decided the audition dates at the point the programmes were produced, the date and name of the show was not just shared, but my contact details and the audition dates.

However, there was one small, and I assume deliberate, typo. Where it meant to say "please contact the director, Richard Vince", the programme instead read:

"please contact the, Richard Vince."

Eddie Izzard once claimed to be the Definite Article. I am. I've got proof. It's in writing and everything.

I've also had two inadvertent preparation opportunities for the production in the last few days.

I managed to spend a couple of evenings spending an hour in the empty theatre in the build up rehearsals for Tis Pity. I make no bones that I am an actor because essentially, at heart, a show off. I naturally try and draw attention to myself in most situations. However, in its own special way, the time working in a theatre in the build up to a show is more enjoyable than the performance. The performance is a high, an addictive buzz. The week before the play is an odd, zen like state of frantic activity. The theatre is a bubble, which shuts out all light, most noise, and sense of time and real life. It is you, the function of the theatre, and the job of getting ready for the show. People, especially actors, talk about the magic of theatre, and for me, it is created then. I can't go and see a show or film without walking out feeling slightly changed by the immersion -  wander out, blinking, generally slightly dazed and a bit vague. I've lived in that world for a few hours, helped by the environment and the feeling on enhanced reality. Imagine how that feeling is even stronger when you've spent whole days in the theatre. I love it, and it ranks, along with Tour, games days and my recent writing week, as amongst the most content I have felt in recent years. It's a chance to step away from real life, and do something important instead.

So it was marvellous to get to do that for Tis Pity, where I had no responsibility other than extorting money out of members of the company. It got me all excited for the equivalent week in November when this all becomes real.

The other opportunity took place in my professional life, the contents of which I often keep away from this blog as an unecessary distraction. However, Thursday was a different day. Amongst other things, I was asked to run a session on a team working/emotional intelligence tool I am a trainer in for a client, one I gained access to via a close friend. I love days like that, where I am there to lead, train, inspire, inform. I flatter myself that I'm quite good at them, but am never sure if the people taking part enjoy them - most of what I'm saying and doing, if I'm honest, is for my own entertainment - I hope the 'audience' go along with me, but it isn't my primary concern in the moment. Selfish, potentially very bad habit.

Running a training session is more like directing than acting. You have to imprint your personality on proceedings, guide, inspire and communicate ideas and be the driving force, but in the end, it is only measurable by the actions of your trainees, and what they go on to produce.

I had a review which said it was one of the best training sessions the attendees had been to, and a comment that holding the particular room's attention was basically unknown, and yet achieved on this occasion. Re-sult.

Of course, even before I'd got home, I had self criticised myself to the point of assuming it was rubbish. But this is the thing about being a show off. In the end, your own opinion is either that you were better or worse than you were, as it is arrogance or neuroses which drive most show offs. Your opinion, in short, is irrelevant. What matters is what the people you were showing off to take away from it.

For those brave enough to take on what is about to start, and get Wyrd with me, be aware - your director is a total neurotic show off, makes it all up as he goes along. You may love it, you may hate it (please God the former) but you will most likely have never been in a production like it.

Deep breath.....LET'S GO!

When I (don't) grow up, I want to be.....

Soooo.....yeah.

Hallo everyone. It's been a while. Couple of reasons for that....since we last spoke I've been travelling the southern part of the country, seeing England play cricket, discovering the night life of Southampton, watching the Barbarians play rugby, seeing Eddie Izzard at the O2, becoming a godfather for the second time ( for which see Miscriant's two posts, though I deny the slander about our scheming in the first part!), having a peripheral involvement in production week of the latest play by the Canterbury Players and being an audience member on opening night, starting on a secret (shh) project, and travelling to Chepstow for what turened out to be bit of a family summit featuring the Vinces, Sidwells and Browns. Self aggrandising as it is, this blog is called the RV life for a reason - by allowing my activities to be arranged by the group of strange, inspirational people able to tolerate my company, I do some great stuff day to day, but it does sometimes get in the way of writing about it!

Also, I got three quarters of the way through writing the first go at this blog about a week and a half ago, and due to a slow computer, a mis-hit of keys and a slight mistype just before an auto save, the whole damn blog irretrievably deleted itself. I swore, which to those who know me, will be a surprise, being as how I am such a sweetly spoken soul. I then rather sulked with the blog and the computer responsible for some time.

So, what have a I brought you here to talk about today? Basically, the possibility of taking a new job has arisen recently. It would mean a semi permanent relocation to another country, a massive change of lifestyle, and leaving behind a team I adore. Through luck or judgement, my current team was entirely recruited by me, directly or indirectly, and is a brilliant bunch. I've also just started working with a friend, and having been initially terified that he would hate working there, or it would be strange working with someone I knew socially first (rather than becoming socially attached to them while working), it is all going very well. I have done it before, but even so, in many ways, it's risky. But, I've got the group of people I work with to the point where it is easy working with them. Doing the job and working with other people, less fun at times, but anyway.

So why am I thinking of changing jobs? Well, this new opportunity is on the list of jobs I have on my list on ambitions. It's a biggy.

Only, I do sometimes think that my list of dream jobs might be the final and conclusive proof of my arrested development. In my job, I'm supposed to have ambitions to become an HR director, or a consultant, or to take a slightly tangential route to be a lawyer. Ask most people where they want to be in 5 or 10 years and it will be either a very logical, if hopefully ambitious, extroplation of their current circumstances, or a totally different career, from changing the planet, to a new professional direction.

Which is a shame. Which one of us, when they were a kid, didn't answer the question "What do you want to be when you grow up?", responded with racing driver, princess, fireman, or, as I did, astronaut?

I do my job now because my first employer gave me a job out of Uni. I'm good at it, so I've progressed, or moved on when I felt I had run out of things to learn. But, failing one of those factors influencing me, I am right now only looking for jobs which I wanted to be when I grew up. I don't see me ever growing up, but worth a go. And I refuse to put away the dreams of my childhood - we have them when are at our most creative, most uninfluenced by received wisdom. Surely, really, honestly, doesn't that make them better?

So, the jobs I wanted to have when I was a kid were:

• Time traveller (because, well, it would just be cool)
• Historian (because, well, it's like a being a time traveller and would be perfect prep)
• Actor (because pretending is fun, and I might get to play a time traveller)
• Writer (so many cool time travel stories to tell)
• Astronaut (two reasons - I might sling shot round the sun and travel in time, and it's a futuristic occupation...so like time travel)
• Some great combination of the above.

In hind sight, my obsession with Star Trek IV, Quantum Leap, BTTF, comics (which just loooove time travel), and Doctor Who was either a symptom of a broader obsessions, or the cause or them.

So, what job could possibly move me from a state of prevarication and enjoying the company of those around me to do another one? One of the above or a few which have since been added?

All of the below are the 'real world' options I look for.....

Lecturer

Because I'd be a historian, which is like....oh, you know. Or an a drama lecturer, which is like being an....

Actor

I flatter myself that I'm a pretty good amateur actor. I wish I was confident enough, or good enough, to stop finding excuses, and do this properly.

Writer

I know I could do this now, I do. And I do write a bit. I rarely finish anything. I certainly don't show it to people. Mainly because I'll only feel good about it if I get compared to, or am allowed to carry on the work of one of the following:

So yeah. Aim for the moon (astronaut, see!). But I am writing more these days. Silly stuff like this, chapters for other peoples' books, contributions to collaborative writing, screen play adaptations and some original work. All happening a lot more now.

The new three?

Radio Presenter

Look, it's essentially a job when you get to talk rubbish and play music. Job as hobby. I will take over from that Evans bloke on the Radio 2 breakfast show. And it will be immense.

Front man

I came to music late, hence lack of inclusion on the original list, but whenever I listen to it, I imagine performing it, and would love to do it for real. Can't do karaoke though. And can't sing. But this isn't about reality.

Presenting QI

If Mr Fry (surely Lord Fry by that point), decides not to complete all 26 series, I think I'd kill to be the one who finished it. A pale imitation though.....

But here's the thing. The job which has come up is none of the above. But it is a combination of all of them.

It is a job which doesn't often come up for interview. Indeed, there have been periods of time when there hasn't really been anyone who officially was doing it, though previous incumbents have never really stopped doing the job.

Funnily, when the job came up, I was told by someone else first...and then promptly asked if I would be applying. People who don't know me have said that they would like the next person who did the job to be "fairly young, extrovert, and, as the last couple have been skinny, maybe a slightly bigger chap" and "definitely needs someone who is odd, but likeable, and able to be angry" and one person who I know said that they felt it should be handled by "someone who has a presence, is not very well known, and is a bit louder, maybe a bit like Brian Blessed with a Stephen Fry touch." False modesty aside....a-HEM. Hel-LO?

Clearly, and with no sense of surprise, my ideal job, supposedly currently up for grabs, is the driver of this vehicle....

Yes yes, the Doctor. But ignore how it is my favourite programme, and how the character is a personal role model (I was basing what I laughing call my personaility of him long before it became popular again) (great piece in the independent on why the Doctor should be male as a good role model for men btw).

Look instead at that list of jobs:

• Time traveller (well duh)
• Historian (likewise)
• Actor (I may have to accept the Doctor isn't real. So I get to pretend!)
• Writer (it may open opportunities, and would be involved with writing)
• Astronaut (seriously? Spaceman....)
• Radio Presenter (Big Finish audio plays? If you haven't tried them, do so)
• Front Man (The actor playing the Doctor is like a rock star, and is the ultimate non musical front man)
• QI presenter (who knows? But Tennat has appeared on it, so all good)
• Some great combination of the above ( well, lookie what we have here....)

So no, I won't allow reality to get in the way of this dream from childhood being an ambition as an adult, or grown up, or whatever it is I'm supposed to be. My dream job is to be the Doctor. I'm sad for you if your dream job isn't that fun. And who knows, maybe one day, I'll be on this list....

And, just in case you think I only want this job to satisfy my inner five year old....how about the fact that I'd get to work with this person every day?

Sorry, friends and valued colleagues - I think all round, all my inner voices would move to Cardiff.